TSTL’s Guide When You’re in a Reading Slump
I decided to postpone recording and releasing an episode of Too Stupid to Live this week.
With everything going on, I’ve been in a reading slump. I know for many bookworms, reading slumps can bring a lot of shame and existential torture. You’re probably asking yourself questions such as:
Am I even a reader?
Do I even like reading?
Am I terrible for not being in the mood to do something I love and perhaps even podcast about?
I am well aware the entire world has been waiting for the host of Too Stupid to Live to weigh in on the topic of reader burnout. So, without further ado, here is TSTL’s guide to getting through a reading slump.
Be sure to take this advice very seriously and without irony. If any critical thought pops up as you read, write it down. Then, tattoo those words somewhere on your body so you can read them every day as you practice your “resting chill-girl face” in the mirror. In fact, tattoo your negative thoughts in a place where strangers can read them too. After all, your thoughts are valid. Like Elvis still being alive, every critical thought you have is very true.
GET THROUGH A READING SLUMP… THE TOO STUPID TO LIVE WAY!
STEP ONE: FEEL REALLY, REALLY (REALLY) BAD ABOUT IT
For every book that goes unread, a librarian angel loses their wings… or reading glasses (depending on your preferred beliefs). Yes, Heaven has librarians. If you don’t read that copy of The Four-Hour Work Week that’s been sitting next to your bed since 2007, just picture an angel-librarian getting fired and being forced to work in “you-know-where” (Dave & Buster’s). That’ll make you pick that book up!
STEP TWO: REMIND YOURSELF YOU’RE BEING GRADED ALL THE TIME
Even if you don’t remember any of your English teachers’ names, they all remember YOU and how you only read The Great Gatsby SparkNotes. See, when you first read A Wrinkle in Time, you had a chip implanted in your brain by the Secret Magical Council of English Teachers. This whole time they’ve been keeping track of how much you read and comprehend REAL books, even if the idea of you being in an academic setting is ludicrous. Seriously, at any moment in time, they can appear right in front of you to give you a mandatory pop quiz on Fahrenheit 451. Consider yourself warned.
STEP THREE: MAYBE JUST AVOID EVERYONE YOU KNOW
Chances are you are likely the only one in the world having a reading slump. If you tell anyone you still haven’t read Melania Trump’s memoir, you’ll be globally banned from every book club. In fact, you’ll likely also be banned from every social group that started as a book club and still uses the term book club even though it’s more of a “hang” situation lately.
IN CONCLUSION:
It may only be January 2025, but let’s face it—2026 is practically here. If you haven’t read at least 75 books by now, it’s not worth making a “Best Of” Instagram post in December. And if you can’t post about reading on social media, is reading even worth it?
What are your tips to get out of a reading slump? I think I could use some.